Person looking back at me...
Laughing
Ridiculing
Crying
But it's my reflection
The voices tell me I'm not pretty
That I'm not skinny enough to be pretty
I'm trying to drown them out
Music
Positivity
But it feels like nothing works
It only gets worse
I notice the worst of myself
Inside and out
I'm not healthy in any way
I feel like hiding my head in the sand
Like I'm faking kindness when I know I'm not
Like I'm not enough
I never thought I would make it this far
Surrounded…
By love
By happiness
By a great life
But these voices won't die down
I can't sleep
Eat too much
Can't even cry
The tears I desperately need to let out
Everyone says I'm strong
But I'm struggling…
With my own thoughts
With my image
With everything in my head
With myself
But I'm trying
I'm trying to forget about the bad parts
Or even just deal with them better
Stuck where I don't want to be in my mind
I believe in my heart…
I really am beautiful inside and out
I am loved
I won't feel upset forever
Didn't deserve what I put myself through
No matter how I felt before
Surrounded by better
I'm different
But I am also changing for the better
I can get through these voices
Through the monsters attacking me
But I need to try harder
I'm just so sorry…
That I have been the worst
That I hurt those who love me the most
That all I think is what I shouldn't be
Who I should have never been
My chest tightens
There are tears that I feel
They just won't flow down my cheeks
There's like a hurricane inside of me
A tornado
A tropical storm
I'm fighting
Drowning
Choking on air
Like I can't do things my body is supposed to
Breathe
See
Think correctly
Hear things I'm told
Especially the best they say of me
Everything I do causes the worst emotions
It hurts…
My head
My chest
Belly
My heart is on fire
Nothing helps
I can't sleep
My body temperature is out of wack
I'm supposed to be my biggest fan
I'm supposed to love myself
But I just love everyone else so much more
Just sorry for everyone in the way of my wrath
For those who love me anyway
I'm just so thankful…
For love
Support
Happy thoughts through the screams in me
The few good dreams instead of nightmares
I may not feel good enough
But I know I really am
I know I really am worth a good future
A good life
The best for me
And those I'll forever love
