Christina Sprague
2 min readNov 6, 2020

Physically I’m here
Mentally I’m not
Emotionally I feel it all
Emotionally I am numb
Trying to be strong
Remembering all the bad thoughts
Trying to make new good memories
I can’t stop this feeling
This feeling
These thoughts
I don’t know why I’m like this
I’m so off
It’s all my fault
I’m a mess
I broke myself
I hurt myself
As I look at my reflection
I can’t see anything
I can’t stop feeling
I can’t stop feeling so numb
I’m tired of being me
I’m tired of hurting
Just so tired of being tired
Just can’t open up
I’m so scared
I don’t feel like I’m real
Just feeling like I’m a bother
Feeling like everyone is pretending
They’re pretending to love me
I’m a mess
I don’t know what to do
I want to stop feeling
But I want to stop feeling so numb
I’m broken
I’m a card tower
Just waiting to blow over
All I can think
All I can feel
I just want to stop it all
Wanting to stop hurting
Don’t want to hurt anyone
Hating myself
Loving them
I know I deserve life
But I never thought
Never thought I’d make it this far
Just never believed in me
I need to learn who I am
Not knowing what to do
But knowing I’ll be okay
As best I can be
I’ll love me
Just how I love them
I need to change myself
And I’ll learn while loving everyone
Loving everyone that loves me
Trying to be strong
But I feel so much love and hate
Love for them
Hate for me
And I don’t know how to stop
Never going to give up trying
Trying to love me for me
While loving them with my whole heart

Christina Sprague
Christina Sprague

Written by Christina Sprague

Mental health is important. Lover of family, animals, and writing poetry.

No responses yet